Hear's the first response to the script I sent out the other night. It's from my cousin (primo) John:


Hey Primo,

I just read the script and I have to say...I'm intrigued. I am anxiously awaiting the next installment.

I like the characters. They are well formed. I especially appreciate how you have represented Mexican or Hispanic ethnicity without making it too cliche or cheesy (at least it doesn't read like that). As I was reading, I could imagine the scenes being played out in my head, voices and all. It was exciting.

My only criticism: Michael stabbing Paid's hand with the letter opener was a bit much. It would seem to me that having Michael slap Paid around like a little bitch would be sufficient (you know, the whole back hand with the right cross). There's just something about the stabbing of the hand that doesn't fit. Maybe Mike stabs Paid in the chest but doesn't hit any vital organs. Or maybe he lodges it in his forehead. I don't know, I don't want to mess with your creative process.

Otherwise everything looked good to me. I don't consider myself to be an expert of any kind, but I will say that I would definitely be interested in seeing this flick and I might even pay money to do so.

Glad to hear your working on something. Keep me posted.

John


And to tell you the truth I kind of agree with him. I've thought about the stabbing of the hand to the desk before. But it kind of works for because I need it to be kind of ambiguous on whether or not Michael kills Paid. The idea is that with his hand stabbed to the desk and the thrust of getting punch the other way snaps his neck. So I may have to work on that idea. But there's still the particular shot I want of Michael knocking Paid around while he's sitting.